OK - back to the chapter. The title is "Building Your Altar" First thought after reading this title? "What funky thing is she (the author) going to have me do next." I am not sure if I mentioned that in Chapter 2 I had to write letters. I had to dig deep and find my "thin" self and talk to the person I hate the most in this WHOLE wide world, my fat ass self (see~ there it goes again... bad, negative thought!). Well "we" bantered back and forth lightly at first and then it got down right ugly, no bouncer was there to break up that fight! Well, come to think of it- there was too;the person who loves me the best when I am at my worst~ Jesus. Best bouncer ever when it comes to dealing with the demonic angel - Satan.
OK - back to Chapter 3 ~ One section I underlined says, "In healing your relationship to Him, you heal your relationship to yourself; and in healing your relationship to yourself, you heal your relationship to everything." God does do miracles, I sincerely believe that. She suggests to plant a mustard seed and let God's strength grow within. When I read that I remembered that often in Christian book stores you can get a necklace with a mustard seed in a little glass vial. I am going to do that and keep it on so I can remember that God wants to allow a miracle in my life~ I just need to quit tripping that miracle up (was that a negative thought? Not sure as it is a true statement).
Another part I underlined was, "Your freedom lies in accepting that which frightens you the most; that you are powerless to stop this problem, to fight it or to fix it.... you are tired of this war you have fought against yourself that part of you would rather die than go on" Well isn't that the truth!!! "SURRENDER the struggle now" If this is done - this surrender leads you straight into the arms of God.
So... just to let you know, the above statement will take me a while to learn. It is all about surrendering, and some days that might be every second.
What better place is there than in the arms of God?
A memory came to me while I was writing that statement (you tell me who it came from) I was at a very dark time in my life when all I wanted was to be loved, just the way I was and I wanted to be held. I had hid deep in my closet and I was crying out to God, weeping and screaming (into a pillow of course) I wanted to physically feel His arms around me as I so longed for touch.... no miraculous ending to this story... never felt Him.
She goes on to write, "You are now at one of the most important cross roads of your life, as a problem you have dealt with for a long time has reached a climax." I am going to paraphrase the next parts that I underlined. You have ended up smack dab in the middle of this festering wound that lies deep with in the soul (but wraps your body in layers of fat for the whole world to see, damn it! Uh oh, was that a negative thought AGAIN! Jeeze!) Our efforts are for nothing when confronted by demonic powers. We can not battle them alone. Our wound is more powerful than our conscious mind but God is more powerful than our wound and conscious mind.
Chapter 3 is a very awesome and strong chapter. I will have to reread several times and then I will write in my journal what has stuck in my brain and include what needs to stick in my brain and then share it in this blog.
One thought before I end for now. She mentions how we are not suppose to carry heavy burdens by ourselves but to be like children and walk lightly on this earth. A child will relax as they know that the adults surrounding them are attending to their needs. We are to be like these children and relax knowing that God is taking care of our needs BUT first we must surrender them over to Him and not keep a strong grip on them, thinking that we can do a better job. One thing she mentions that might make this extra difficult is if our needs were not met as a child then we will have a harder time releasing our issues to God because we do not trust that anyone other than ourselves will take care of us. She didn't say impossible just harder.
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