The hope that you have prayed for has finally arrived

Some times it is hard to face our demons. In order to get healthy it is something we must do. What happens when I have to face a demon and do not want to? That is right... reach for those carbs or those sugar foods. That was my day yesterday. Today I return to letting God take care of all those feelings as He handles it a lot better than food, shopping or any other path we take besides dealing with what needs to be dealt with.

I was rereading (always a good thing to do) the part of the book that I have all ready been through and this passage caught my eye (not sure why it didn't the first time)

"Ask yourself this question: Are you willing, if even for a moment to consider the possibility that God can outwit your insanity?" If you feel on your own you simply cannot stop waging war against your self - a war that if unabated could eventually kill you - then allow yourself to surrender to a fervent hope and to feel if even for a moment, that the hope you have prayed for has finally arrived."

After years of self hatred, dieting, self hatred, dieting, self hatred... well you get the point. Can there really be hope? Can I really totally surrender food to God? What happens when I fail - where do I go then?

"Remembering this Divine truth- that love is who you are- is key to your healing, for your relationship to food in an area where your nervous system has lost the memory of its Divine intelligence. As you remember your own Divine truth, the cells of your body will remember theirs."

You mean - I am love? I am not a failure who can not look a thin person in the eye? Or understand how a person can exercise day after day and heat healthy day after day - year after year? Or who tries to hide their widening girth behind larger and larger sizes of clothes?

"By getting back to the truth of who you really are, you will get to a place where all your problems with weight have disappeared."

Too hard to even fathom - can it be true? Can I even get back to the truth of who I really am or has all these years of self hatred, self loathing gotten too good of a grip?

"The consciousness of the human race is dominated by fear which has coalesced in your life in the form of a particular behavioral problem: compulsive overeating."

FEAR - I ask in the name of God to deliver me from the fear that my self worthlessness is too embedded in my soul to be rooted out by His love.

"Dear God, Please free me from false appetites and take away my pain. Take me from my compulsive self, and show me who I am. Dear God, Please give me a new beginning. Unchain my heart so I might live a freer life at last. Amen"

As I prayed that prayer and though of my recent behaviors I realize that my self loathing can go from one compulsive habit to another, Food, shopping, etc. When I give up my fear to God and not use food to replace it I must remember to see the other signs of me using something else in place of food. This means I have not totally surrendered.

Lord - Thank-you that you are all powerful and that you reign in the heavenly places. I praise your name. I am in awe and reverence of your Name. I ask Lord that your will be done in my life today - just as if I was in the heavenly places. Give me today Lord your strength and power to be healthy - to submit my fear - to let my fear be replaced by the bread of your word Thank-you for forgiving me. Let me forgive instead of eat. Keep me Lord form using food or other false appetites. For your Lord is the kindom, the power and the glory forever. Amen